February 5, 2011

Dear Bennsyn,
        I am writing to you to try and capture pieces of time to be able to look back and remember.  I am quickly realizing how fast time flies.  I can not believe that you are already 3 years old.  You seem so big in my eyes.  This is hard for me to do and I will probably cry through every entry, just as I am right now.  I look back at these 3 years that you have been in our lives and I realize that I can't remember all of the little details that I swore that I would never forget. I want to remember every detail. I want to soak in every moment. Hopefully someday we can look back together and laugh (and I'll probably cry) at all of the things that you do.
        I do not know where to start.  I regret that I did not start this sooner.  From day 1 you have been my world.  You have been the perfect first child.  So easy going!! You made life easier and so much better.  I cannot imagine what my life was before I had you. You have always been so easy going, so go with the flow.  I notice the way that you carefully watch people.  You take your time studying and make sure you can do something well before you do it.  There were so many times in your firt year that I would try and teach you something and you would just look at me.  I thought, "What am I doing?  Maybe this is to soon, he is not getting any of this!!"  But then, sure enough, a few days later you would pop out some baby sign when you wanted something, throw together a sentence, sing a full song, colors, numbers, ABC's.  Now you're trying to write your name, sound out letters, and draw little people.  Your memory amazes me every day.
        Bennsyn, you are the perfect big brother.  Kaleigha is so lucky to have you, and I think she knows it!! She adores you.  Without fail I know that you are always there for her.  She loves every bit of attention that you give her.  I love waking up in the morning to hear you guys playing together in your room.  Kaleigha trapped in her crib and you with both hands on the bars and your face pressed against it.  The way you talk to her is so precious.  And then you announce to her, "Hold on baby girl, I have to go potty! I'll be right back!!"  She cries every time you leave.  She cries because she knows that she can't go with you.  But you always run right back with a, "See! I told you I'd be right back!!" And she is immediately happy again.  I know that you are only 3, but the love you have for her is incredible.
        I just want you to always know how much I love you.  You are so perfect in every way.  Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy.  I love you my Little Prince!
                Love, Mommy